Driving to pick up some barbecue for dinner today, I had a revelation. It stems from the outfit I’m wearing today.
I’m wearing a dress today that I have had for a long time, maybe a year or so. There’s nothing wrong with it. The dress is lovely and light, perfect for Summertime and it fits me well. It’s yellow and floral and frilly and beautiful, and I have until today been afraid to wear it.
Who’s afraid of a dress (I mean besides the big white ones that come with rings and dramatic promises)? Well, this girl was, for a number of reasons.
First, this dress is bright and happy, and I wasn’t feeling that way. Yellow is not a color that says “I am moody” or “Don’t talk to me”. It screams, “Smile!” and “Sunny day bicycle ride” and “Let’s go get a popsicle together!”
Second, this dress is sexy.
To clarify: it’s not a sexy dress. It’s not what you think of when I say the word “sexy”. (Yes, there’s a difference.) This dress isn’t cut to hug every curve or show a lot of skin. It covers much of me and it flows away from my skin in the breeze. But when I put it on, it feels like I’m wrapping myself in a long-forgotten version of me, or perhaps she’s a brand-new version I’ve not become.
For most of my life, in my friend groups, I have not taken on the role of Sexy Friend. Historically, I’ve played the part of a sincere friend, helpful friend, aloof friend, sidekick friend, even bitchy sarcastic friend on certain late nights and weekends. Never was I up front, sitting center, or walking in slow-mo to maximize the effect that me walking by might have. That’s just not who I am – or how I saw myself – outside of the confines of my own living space.
Wearing this dress today I have felt open, and sexy, and radiant, and … well, happy. True happy, which is way above fake-it-til-you-make-it happy or posing for a photograph happy. I’m talking true, puppy who just got adopted, tail wagging so hard it’s spinning me in circles, happy.
So this dress – or rather, the beams of light radiating from me as I float through the world in this dress today – got me thinking about good energy vs bad energy, or high vibration vs low vibration, and what happens when the two meet in human form.
For example, let’s say you’re feeling fly like a G6 and smiling and saying hello to your neighbors and even when the barista gets your coffee order wrong you’re still singing in the car all the way to work because you’re grateful to have that kind of First World problems. Then you run into a kindred spirit who is similarly cheerful, grateful, and radiating light. You are instantly attracted. Not in a romantic way, but in recognition. You want to be near them, and it’s not really a thought as much as it is a pulling feeling in the center of the chest or navel area.
This attraction happens because you’re reflecting back to them the light that they are. You are vibrating at a high frequency, and their vibration is at a similar frequency, and your inner beings create harmony together. The divinity in them recognizes the divinity in you. It’s like a soul hug. Or a Vulcan mind-meld but with less agonized screaming.
On the other side of that, (and this is the really important part for me because I am living it out and I literally just realized what is going on) when someone is repelled by you and your light (the you that is functioning as a divine light being having a human experience, your best self), two things are happening:
One, you are reflecting back to them what they are not – which is to say, what they are but they are not currently BEING or choosing to be, because in truth they always are the divine and the light, just as you are.** When they see and feel your energy, they immediately feel things like guilt, or shame, or insecurity. This is not your fault. It’s only because you act as a mirror for them to see themselves clearly and for many people, that’s too much information that they’d rather not look at so closely.
Two, you are in high vibration and high frequency and they are at a lower vibration, which creates dissonance. You both experience disharmony. Again, it’s not a thought, and very seldom does the conscious mind understand what’s happening. It’s not a soul hug this time, it’s more like a soul wedgie. It is a feeling within that instead of pulling, pushes. You want to get away from them and likely, they want to either get away from you as well or to lower your vibration so that it matches theirs (and therefore you are in harmony, which FEELS better.)
Side note: When this happens it’s very common to lose friends, family members, and other people from our lives unexpectedly and sometimes in big and messy ways. Harsh words are said, feelings are hurt, pride is injured. They will do what they can (unconsciously) to lower your vibration because it’s comfortable for them. It is easier to lower frequency than to raise it, so please be aware of yourself and do what it takes to keep yourself shining light.
In my mind, losing friends is preferable to lowering vibration. To achieve higher vibration there has to be a willingness to confront and integrate the shadow, to heal the inner child and old traumas, to cut out discordant beliefs, fears, and stories. It is hard work. The reward for that work is the privelege of embodying a version of yourself that isn’t dependent on outer circumstances and isn’t easily changed by being in the company of lower-vibe people.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
All of this happened in my mind in the span of about 8 minutes, and I really couldn’t wait to come home and write it down.
**No person is really darkness except he who chooses to be (and even in that choice, he is just denying the light he came from, not truly existing as darkness.)