It’s a gray day and the sky is overcast and I can’t tell what time it is because everything around me is white and pale and motionless. I’m driving aimlessly towards some forgotten destination. Daydreaming. I look up and see a tiny opening in the clouds. Just a crack, just enough to allow a sliver of yellow light to peek through. As I drive the crack gets larger and golden rays begin to rain down from the heavens. I change direction. I drive towards the light. Parking in a field, I get out of the car and walk until I am underneath the ever-widening celestial portal. I stand still and let the warm sunlight dance along my face and shoulders. Goosebumps. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I smile so hard it hurts my cheeks. I bloom like the flowers in the field, hips swaying in the breeze. I am happy. I want to stay here, engulfed in sunlight, forever. Eventually the light fades and the air gets cooler and I know I will have to drive back home. I feel at once grateful for the sun’s caress and angry for having touched it, only to lose it again. Just yesterday my whole life was gray and until I looked up I hadn’t known it could be colorful. I am angry at the sun for embracing me so, for offering me a glimpse into possibility. How can I return contented to my cold, gray life? How can I think of anything else but the few moments I spent illuminated in that field? I pass the time looking up at the sky, chasing the sun, coveting her glowing affections. One tiny opening – a crack in the clouds – has changed my very existence.
And that – that is knowing you.