l i g h t

In my meditation this morning, I had one thought:


Most days, there’s a bit of a preamble to my meditation in which I ground myself, connect to source, activate chakras. I gently de-clutter my mind, quiet the noise down a bit so I can receive guidance. What happens next depends on the day and my purpose for meditating.

Sometimes I ask questions of my guides or ancestors, sometimes I pray (even though I don’t identify as Christian I do believe in prayer), sometimes I sit and watch the area behind my eyelids like it’s a giant movie screen. Generally I go with what feels best for me in the moment. Plenty of times I send love to specific people, cover my children in protective energy, repeat mantras or affirmations to myself, and express gratitude for all that is.

Today, I sat cross-legged on top of my already-made bed, hands on my knees with palms open and up, ready to receive. I closed my eyes, took some deep breaths, and pictured a ball of light emanating from my chest/belly. The ball grew larger with each breath until it surrounded me, engulfed me, and light energy began to flow from both my palms. (One hand is for giving, one is for receiving so I suppose both should be active if I am in a balanced state.) It was like sitting under a golden rainbow that went from one palm, curved over my head, and landed in the other palm. A super cool visual.

As I sat calmly I said, or I heard someone say, “light”. (It can be difficult to distinguish sometimes whether a thought like this one is my own, as I sometimes get information from nowhere, things I have no explanation for knowing.)

I kept thinking “light”. Light. Light. Light. I told myself my energy is powerful – my magnetic field is powerful – and I could feel it radiating out from me. One of the fingers on my left hand began to vibrate. Not a twitch, but more like a hum. This is good, it felt like a new skill breaking through, a new level of awareness. Also the left hand is for receiving.

In divination I always ask that I be a conduit, and that’s exactly what I felt like. A channel, a receiver. The message?


Be the light? Focus on light? Respond in light? Seek the light?

Why not “love”? Why am I hearing “light”?

Later, I thought about light and all that it is and all that it symbolizes and there is so much, so many layers, so many messages:

Light is knowledge, light is truth, revelation. Learning, teaching, discovering. Light gives life, it nourishes, it comforts, it sustains. Light is warmth. Fire, passion, comfort.

Light can also mean not heavy. Unencumbered. Unbothered, untethered and unattached. No ego. Fewer possessions, more observing and less reacting. Let go, release, ascend.

The sun is shining its brilliant light through my window and onto my desk as I type this, and I think of all the days I dangled by a thread, begging the sky to part and let the sun peek through. Light is hope. Each new sunrise is a new beginning and represents enormous possibility.

Light is uplifting, encouraging, leading. Everything that grows follows the sun. Am I a sun?

Light guides, it directs, it reveals the way.

Light sweeps away the darkness. Not that darkness is bad, just perhaps in my life the darkness has had its time and now it is time to be light, to look at light, to embody light.

I think so many people (myself included) complicate so much about the human experience that was designed to be simple. It isn’t meant to be a struggle every day. There are answers, if we seek them. We aren’t meant to fumble in darkness. Today I will heed the message and focus on light – all that it represents and all that it is – in my internal and external world. I will allow and receive and let go and be grateful.

I will be light.

Happy Day!

I’m vegan, and part Native American so tomorrow is a different day for me.  I’ll still be gathering with my lovely family and eating LOTS of things, as well as concentrating on being thankful and in the moment.

No animal products, and a prayer for those who lost their lives in the “civilization” of our nation.

Here are some links on gratitude, veganism, how you can support the remaining tribesmen and women, and blessing loved ones with love and light, if you’re into that sort of thing.  If you’re reading this, I love you and I hope your day, however you choose to spend it, is full of joy, fellowship, and delicious food.

Ball of Light Blessing (Audio Only)

30 Vegan Thanksgiving Recipes

Native American Rights Fund (NARF)

Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary

One last thought: In the hustle and bustle of the holidays, please remember two important days that come AFTER Black Friday.  The 25th is Small Business Saturday, a day to support small businesses, shop local and purchase thoughtful, sustainable gifts for loved ones.  The 28th is Giving Tuesday, a day designated for supporting whatever causes you believe in, so please choose a charity near and dear to your heart and rain down love and affection (and generosity!) on them.  It will come back to you tenfold.

You are light

You are love

You are MAGIC.


Thankful and Hungry,


Where Have I Been All My Life?

Hiya!  Let me start by saying, rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated!  I’ve been SO busy.  Like, STUPID busy.  I can’t even talk about how busy I am because I’m so busy.  And that’s life, and I’m blessed and I know it, so I’m not fussing.  Here’s what’s on my mind tonight:

Johnny Depp’s advice to Kate Moss on how to handle fame.  “Never complain, never explain.”  Brilliant. Perfect.  I’ll be honest and say that I do not think Johnny Depp is a genius, or even a man who reads books.  And yet, he so succinctly stated something that I feel should be every person’s mantra, not just celebrities.  This thought led to so many others…

I’m quitting Facebook.  Permanently?  I don’t know.  I like keeping up with old and far away friends, but that’s really all it’s good for.  I do know that it’s a time suck, it allows too many people to see into intimate parts of my life.  Parts that, when I’m honest with myself, I realize should be shared with my husband and kids and those closest to us.  This new “bare it all” version of society has blurred lines and dissolved boundaries of decency, privacy, and even civility.  There are people who have made me very uncomfortable in conversation because they literally inquire about personal details of my life, even when I say I’d rather not share them.  And saying I’d rather not share them?  Oh, the horror.   The usual response is an audible gasp, a stomping of feet, or if the conversation is a digital one, a revocation of “friend”ship.  I shouldn’t feel forced to tell you about my new job, my hair cut, or anything else about my life unless I WANT to. It’s ridiculous and I’m over it.

I’ve been doing a meditation challenge with my buds Deepak and Oprah (see here: https://chopracentermeditation.com/home). The meditation is a 21 Day Challenge I received in an email and I must say, I like a challenge.  The idea of my mind as a quiet, peaceful place sits right on the line between “shut the front door” and “get the heck outta here”.  It’s not an easy task.  Not impossible, maybe. But definitely not probable.  Still, I am trying. I have missed two days, but I will begin again tonight.  I hope to update you all at the end of the 21 days.

I also just finished Louise Hay’s book “You Can Create an Exceptional Life” (see here: http://www.hayhouse.com/details.php?ref=149&id=7621). A timely gift from my mom, a pleasant surprise on a rainy day.  I read it in 3 days and I think I may read it again.  Many of the opinions and ideas resonated with me.  Thoughts are things and we create our reality.  Yes, I believe that.  I more than believe that, I have seen it to be true.  Loving others is paramount.  Yes, I believe that as well.  Highly recommend reading this book.

Sort-of related to the previous, I am becoming more aware of myself. My thoughts, intentions, actions, create the life around me. All the time I am sending out vibrations into the universe that, in turn, sends back vibrations that match. (Simply stated, I know, but this is my simplest understanding.)   I am learning about being true to myself, being my best and highest version of me, and manifesting my greatest dreams and desires.  (Not including Liam Hemsworth – see below.)  As a Christian sometimes I wonder if these things conflict with my religion, but they do not seem to, and so far what I have read “feels” very true to me.  Does that make sense?  I want to always be growing, and moving forward, and I believe that I am.  I want to shake off negatives and swim in positives, possibilities, opportunities, and learn to receive all good things.  I say affirmations, I have a vision board, and I write in a gratitude journal.  If nothing else it certainly makes my soul feel light.  Many times I drive to work and use that time to say thank you for all my blessings, thank you for all the blessings on their way to me today, and I laugh out loud. Literally.  These exercises have made me a happier person, more accepting of myself and others and more open to life’s grand possibilities, in a short amount of time.

Liam Hemsworth.  Wait, who?  Yeah I know, he’s so young and his older brother is super hot but I can’t help who my brain decides to insert into my mid-afternoon-nap-dreams.  So me and Liam (love that name) walked around my town, holding hands. Oh my gosh, the paparazzi? How did they know you were here?  Am I going to be in the tabloids? I wish I had brushed my hair.  Ah, dang it Miley’s calling me.  (In my dream she’s friends with my little sister.)  This is inappropriate. I know it is.  Beyond you being ruggedly handsome and (I imagine) quite a good conversationalist, I’m married and old enough to have been your babysitter.  Sigh.  But I’m infatuated.  Yes, let’s hold hands.  Let’s go to my grandma’s birthday dinner and say hi to my family.  Let’s go skydiving. …  I woke up from this dream highly amused, and then a little bummed.  I love my husband with all my heart, but I do so miss the excitement of falling in love with someone.  The electricity you feel when your skin brushes theirs.  I love being in love.  Some days I miss being young and dumb and making bad choices.  Thank goodness for Oreo-fueled afternoon dreams.

Be the kind of friend you want to have.  So simple.  For me, a sort-of epiphany.  I can be gossipy and get offended easily.  I can be guarded and bristly and short with people.  But I wouldn’t like it if they treated me that way.  My brother and sister-in-law went somewhere together this weekend.  I know because they asked my husband to feed their cat.  But they never told ME where they were going?!  Ugh.  Oh, wait.  I am doing that thing that I just mentioned in the Facebook paragraph.  Light bulb moment!  So I intend to treat my friends with loving kindness and courtesy.  You get back what you put out, and this is something I didn’t even know I was failing at.

FOOD.  My food processor died so I need a new one to make protein pancakes. I went to Target and couldn’t find one I wanted at a reasonable price.  Then, I thought I’d get one at a yard sale but that thought kinda grosses me out.  So… I’m using the blender for now, it’s not great but it works.  I have posted a FEW photos to instagram, but that’s it.  I can’t wait to get some time in the kitchen to post some yummy new recipes!  I’ve given up soda, I vacillate between paleo and vegan dieting right now, and I can’t get enough kombucha.

The photo below is my new desktop background.  It speaks to my soul.

So… what’s new with you guys?