In my meditation this morning, I had one thought:
Most days, there’s a bit of a preamble to my meditation in which I ground myself, connect to source, activate chakras. I gently de-clutter my mind, quiet the noise down a bit so I can receive guidance. What happens next depends on the day and my purpose for meditating.
Sometimes I ask questions of my guides or ancestors, sometimes I pray (even though I don’t identify as Christian I do believe in prayer), sometimes I sit and watch the area behind my eyelids like it’s a giant movie screen. Generally I go with what feels best for me in the moment. Plenty of times I send love to specific people, cover my children in protective energy, repeat mantras or affirmations to myself, and express gratitude for all that is.
Today, I sat cross-legged on top of my already-made bed, hands on my knees with palms open and up, ready to receive. I closed my eyes, took some deep breaths, and pictured a ball of light emanating from my chest/belly. The ball grew larger with each breath until it surrounded me, engulfed me, and light energy began to flow from both my palms. (One hand is for giving, one is for receiving so I suppose both should be active if I am in a balanced state.) It was like sitting under a golden rainbow that went from one palm, curved over my head, and landed in the other palm. A super cool visual.
As I sat calmly I said, or I heard someone say, “light”. (It can be difficult to distinguish sometimes whether a thought like this one is my own, as I sometimes get information from nowhere, things I have no explanation for knowing.)
I kept thinking “light”. Light. Light. Light. I told myself my energy is powerful – my magnetic field is powerful – and I could feel it radiating out from me. One of the fingers on my left hand began to vibrate. Not a twitch, but more like a hum. This is good, it felt like a new skill breaking through, a new level of awareness. Also the left hand is for receiving.
In divination I always ask that I be a conduit, and that’s exactly what I felt like. A channel, a receiver. The message?
Be the light? Focus on light? Respond in light? Seek the light?
Why not “love”? Why am I hearing “light”?
Later, I thought about light and all that it is and all that it symbolizes and there is so much, so many layers, so many messages:
Light is knowledge, light is truth, revelation. Learning, teaching, discovering. Light gives life, it nourishes, it comforts, it sustains. Light is warmth. Fire, passion, comfort.
Light can also mean not heavy. Unencumbered. Unbothered, untethered and unattached. No ego. Fewer possessions, more observing and less reacting. Let go, release, ascend.
The sun is shining its brilliant light through my window and onto my desk as I type this, and I think of all the days I dangled by a thread, begging the sky to part and let the sun peek through. Light is hope. Each new sunrise is a new beginning and represents enormous possibility.
Light is uplifting, encouraging, leading. Everything that grows follows the sun. Am I a sun?
Light guides, it directs, it reveals the way.
Light sweeps away the darkness. Not that darkness is bad, just perhaps in my life the darkness has had its time and now it is time to be light, to look at light, to embody light.
I think so many people (myself included) complicate so much about the human experience that was designed to be simple. It isn’t meant to be a struggle every day. There are answers, if we seek them. We aren’t meant to fumble in darkness. Today I will heed the message and focus on light – all that it represents and all that it is – in my internal and external world. I will allow and receive and let go and be grateful.
I will be light.