… it pours.
And I am learning to dance in it, to praise my God in the middle of it. I do not enjoy being taught these lessons, to be perfectly honest, but I do enjoy what comes after. – Strength, hope, trust, faith, a stronger relationship with my husband, a broader perspective, compassion for others who struggle.
Today I was going to post about some “no bake” goodies, but I’m going to hold off on that. From time to time I’m going to blog about my life and trials, because it’s much easier to speak to the internet [for me] and not fear judgment than to speak openly to my friends who maybe aren’t struggling right now.
We can’t pay our bills. Things are getting shut off. That’s the long and short of it. I never thought I’d be in this place at my age. No, not even close. It is sobering. It is humbling.
I’ve been praying a lot, spending time in conversation with God, and reading my Bible and devotionals on all sorts of things related to this. – Hope, Fear, Faith, Trust, Tithing, Blessings, Trials, God’s Timing, etc. They have lifted my spirit in a time when most would say I should be wallowing. Crying. Stressing. Freaking out. But the reality is this: my problems are tiny, miniscule even, compared to my God. God has promised to look out for me, to provide for me and my family, and God does not lie. So there, stress. Take that, anxiety.
Some verses that have helped me today:
Isaiah 41:10 “”10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Not to harm me. No, never to harm us but only to prosper us. To grow us, to give us HOPE and a FUTURE. God is loving in a way that I cannot even understand. Having a son of my own does give me slivers of insight, though. I find God so relate-able now that I am a parent. I want only the best for my kids. I would give them anything. I want them to be happy and healthy and prosperous. The other side of that is that I must teach them, discipline them, sometimes even allow them to face the consequences of their choices. God is a much better parent than I am, and he loves me so much better than I can love.
So today… even though I’m rambling… even though I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or even in the next 20 minutes… I have joy. I have peace. I have hope. I can dance even though the rain is coming down hard on my head, because I know the one who made the rain will also make the sun shine on us again.