Some kid says I can’t be Captain America because I’m a girl.
Fuck that noise.
Captain is a rank, not a gender.
Steve Rogers is my favorite, my all-time number one guy, and I’m going to dress as Captain America for Halloween next year, lack of penis be damned.
There’s no Wonder – Guy. There’s no Scarlet Wanker. I hate names like She – Hulk. Why can’t we just say Hulk? The size of her boobs alone would make gender pretty obvious, no?
So we talked about Thor and Lady Thor, how that’s kind-of a Mr. and Mrs. thing and he’s a one – name guy like Madonna or Sting so she’s Mrs. Sting and that’s different. Because Captain is a rank and I’m not going to have anyone devalue that rank by adding a Mrs. or Lady or -ette to it. “Yeah, she’s a Captain, wink wink.” Captain Marvel is a chick. She just has a reputation for being an asshole in real life and I don’t want to emulate that. (No judgement, I just don’t like her.)
So… Next Halloween I’m Captain America. Stick that in your flurkin and smoke it.